Women in CO : Lydia Kives
There’s real wisdom in slowing down enough to see that most of the things that matter in life are complicated.
Women in CO is about the women I meet, know, love, and admire—those who inspire me daily with their wisdom and strengths but also their vulnerabilities, complexities and humanity. Their voices offer insight, encouragement, and the kind of quiet reassurance that reminds us: We are not alone.
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1.WHAT IS YOUR ROLE, AND HOW DID YOU COME TO WORK IN THIS FIELD?
I’m a former civil rights attorney who focused on criminal justice reform. I now work in documentary film. The shift wasn’t something I planned. It grew out of what I came to see while fighting to reform our criminal legal system—oftentimes, data alone wasn’t enough to make people care or take action. It was the human stories that made people stop and listen. Those stories had power. They stayed with me. After I had children and found myself needing more balance in my life, I leaned all the way into storytelling. It felt like a natural next step, and it’s been an incredible journey. Our recent film, Daughters (on Netflix!) tells the story of four little girls who plan a dance with their incarcerated fathers. Watching audiences connect with the girls and their stories is a constant reminder of why this work matters. Before that, The Sentence of Michael Thompson earned an Emmy nomination for exposing the human toll of an unjust prison sentence. Now I’m diving into fascinating new territory, including a project on psychedelics.
2. IN WHAT WAYS HAS YOUR WORK SHAPED YOUR IDENTITY AND PERSONAL GROWTH?
I try not to let my work define who I am. My identity is more rooted in my relationships, my integrity, the things I hold sacred—and how I show up in the world every day. But has my journey through my work changed me? Absolutely. When I was younger, I was always searching for clear answers, craving black and white truths. That’s what drew me to law in the first place—this idea that everything could be sorted into right and wrong. But life has a way of showing you all the shades of gray. It's funny, my maiden name is Gray, and I even named my daughter Gray, almost like a reminder of what I’ve learned along the way. There’s real wisdom in slowing down enough to see that that most of the things that matter in life are complicated. Motherhood especially has deepened this perspective and has added a whole new layer of understanding about what’s at stake.
3. HAS YOUR DEFINITION OF SUCCESS EVOLVED OVER TIME?
Definitely. All my big ideas have evolved. Over time, I’ve come to realize that success is so much more internal. For me, it’s about feeling aligned with my values and living with purpose. In those quiet moments at the end of the day, I ask myself: Did I follow my inner compass rather than chase external validation? Am I at peace? Did I honor what I believe is our deepest obligation to give back to this earth that sustains us and the humanity that shares it? I’ve also come to see success as being about growth—mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and even creatively. Am I continuing to evolve and challenge myself? Am I stretching into new spaces and staying open to change? It’s less about arriving at some perfect place and more about being willing to adapt and grow, even when it’s uncomfortable. One of my best friends always talks about “going inward.” I’ve learned so much from her. So that’s success to me now—the simple knowing that I’m living authentically and doing my part to make things a little better.
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4. WHAT KEEPS YOU INSPIRED AND MOTIVATED TO KEEP DOING WHAT YOU ARE DOING?
My children, Gray and Cole. Having kids really is like having your heart walking around outside of your body. They’ve raised the stakes on everything I do. It’s not just about the stories I tell or the work I create. It’s about shaping the kind of world I want my kids to grow up in—one that’s kinder, more loving, more compassionate than the one we’re in right now.
5. DO YOU HAVE A ROLE MODEL, FEMALE OR OTHERWISE? WHAT LESSONS FROM THEM HAVE INFLUENCED YOUR PATH?
When I think about role models, I think about my closest girlfriends. I’m so blessed to have this incredible group of brilliant, grounded, and wildly unique women in my life. They’re each so clear in their purpose, carving their own paths and making an impact in the world, all while being present, loving mothers. They’re also fun! Any funny! Watching how they balance it all, how they approach life—it teaches me something new every day.
6. HAVE YOU ENCOUNTERED CHALLENGES/RESISTANCE THAT PERTAINED TO YOU BEING A WOMAN IN THE WORKPLACE? HOW HAVE THESE EXPERIENCES SHAPED YOUR APPROACH TO WORK OR LEADERSHIP?
I've learned that you don't have to choose between being powerful and being authentic. Some of our greatest strengths as women—our emotional intelligence, our ability to build deep connections, our empathy—aren't things to minimize, they're actually incredible assets.
7. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST CHALLENGE IN THE WORKPLACE AND HOW DO YOU OVERCOME IT? COMMUNICATION? MANAGEMENT? TIME MANAGEMENT? MOTIVATION? WORK/LIFE BALANCE?
Work-life balance. Motherhood has taught me to guard my time fiercely. Saying no is hard, but I’ve learned that every “no” creates space for what matters most to me. A thirty-minute Zoom that I don’t need to be on is time that I could be rolling around on the floor with my two year old.
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8. WHAT UNIQUE PERSPECTIVES OR QUALITIES DO YOU THINK WOMEN CONTRIBUTE TO THE WORKPLACE, AND HOW DO THESE INFLUENCE TEAM DYNAMICS?
This question makes me think of Daughters. We had a predominantly female team—our co-directors, and most of our producers and executive producers were women (though we had some incredible men who were essential to our success). There was this beautiful alignment between how we worked together and the story we were telling. Everyone led with both heart and purpose, deeply committed to honoring our subjects and creating real impact. When women come together like that, there's often this natural balance of empathy and ambition, of nurturing and driving forward. It creates an environment where both the work and the people can thrive.
9. WHAT’S ONE PIECE OF ADVICE YOU WISH SOMEONE HAD SHARED WITH YOU WHEN YOU WERE STARTING OUT?
I was at a dinner recently where everyone shared their luckiest and unluckiest moments in life. When it was my turn, I said that I feel lucky to look back on all the moments I once thought were setbacks and say, “Thank God it happened that way.” Dream jobs I didn’t get, projects that fell apart, painful heartbreaks—every single one ended up leading me to something better. There’s a Jewish saying I learned from a special person in my life, “Gam zu l-tovah,” or “This too is for good.” It's about having faith that what looks negative today is often part of a positive story still unfolding. I’ve learned to set my intentions, work hard, and then let go a little—trusting that what’s meant for me won’t pass me by. That faith, that surrender, has brought me so much peace. I wish someone had told me sooner: yes, get clear on what you want and go for it. But also trust that it’s not all in your control, and that’s actually a gift.
10. WHAT’S ONE THING YOU HOPE YOUNGER WOMEN ENTERING YOUR FIELD FEEL EXCITED ABOUT?
The potential of documentaries is bigger than ever. Historically, docs were a niche genre with a limited audience and limited distribution. You had to go to an arthouse movie theater, attend a film festival, or find your local PBS channel if you wanted to watch one. But now, that’s all changed. Streaming platforms have made these stories accessible to global audiences, and advances in technology mean a rising generation of diverse filmmakers can create something meaningful. Documentaries are no longer niche—they’re powerful tools for change, reaching people in ways we couldn’t have imagined a decade ago. I hope younger women feel excited about the impact they can make and feel inspired to bring their unique voices to the table. The world needs their stories.
11. WHAT IS YOUR MOST CHERISHED PIECE OF CLOTHING?
I must say, my Co pieces stick around in my closet for many, many seasons. I have a pair of black flowy pants that are at least seven years old, and I still wear them weekly. But hmm... my most favorite piece! What comes to mind is actually the silver, custom dress I wore just last weekend to my husband’s birthday (and cancer-free) celebration. I’ll never be able to separate that dress from what I wore it to celebrate.
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12. WHAT PURCHASE RULES DO YOU HAVE WHEN IT COMES TO CLOTHING?
Less is more. I’m a minimalist in all categories, including clothes. I try to be thoughtful about consumption rather than accumulating. I don’t buy anything I just “like” anymore—it has to be love, absolute love. My closet is basically built around quality investment pieces from brands with a lasting aesthetic, like Co, plus the occasional perfect vintage piece.
13. WHAT DO YOU FEEL IS MISSING IN YOUR CLOSET?
Clean basics. I started scrutinizing garment labels when I had kids—polyester is plastic, and I didn’t want that on their bodies. I’ve slowly started to also transform the foundation of my own wardrobe, like intimates, athletic wear, and loungewear, into natural materials that feel better both physically and ethically. We have enough unavoidable plastic in our world without wrapping ourselves in it too.